July
Qualities found 
?)
-a need to justify opening a bottle of cheap wine when your co-conspirator has to bail due to a hangover
-watching 50 horror and sci-fi movies in chronological order, with the goal of aggregating some (as yet) unknown data related to… horror and sci-fi movies. (quasi-academics don’t do things for fun)
oh! in keeping on the subject of quasi-academics, such as myself, somebody needs to write a book titled something like “Relationship Advice for Academics: love lessons for those who are not as socially inept as pure-bred geeks, but still lack the proper social skills to form a loving relationship with something other than an abstract idea”
A person is not an abstract idea, technically.. But don’t let me go there.
Tip 1:
I don’t know what tip #1 is.
Which is why someone needs to be commissioned to write this. The person should either be a refugee of academia, or a hack who is really, really good at pursuading overly-critical minded, individualistic, self-obsessed douche bag knowitalls that their words and advice will actually work.
Perhaps the description of characteristics possessed by said “douche bag”, who needs to be convinced by the latter hack, are the negative qualities that keep “overly-critical minded, individualistic, self-obsessed douche bag knowitalls” from being able to have a relationship.
OH SNAP. My qualities which have disbarred me from ever having a real boyfriend have allowed me to determine the problem! The difference between myself, and the hack, is that the hack would most likely have some sort of practical suggestions; whereas, I am still waiting for the hack to give me a simple answer that I have made too complex to find.
OH SNAP. I just wroke the geekery version of what, I guess, is the lame-ass Shakespearean/Kieregarard-y bullcrap rhetorical question of what the poet, Haddaway once asked: “WHAT IS LOVE”?
July 14th, 2009 09:08
Tip #1: Leave your brain at the door – Resist the urge to Bludgeon them to death when they say we have a 5th amendment right while in Canada.
Tip #2: Give them what they want. When people ask a stupid question they expect a equally stupid response or at lest a very simplified one. For example: You could explain that the sound you just heard was the doppler effect and how sirens are designed to eliminate that effect by blab blab blab… or you could just respond with ‘it was a car driving by’, Give them what they want.
Tip #3: ???
Tip #4: Prostitutes! Paid for with the money that you made with you academics.
* Your first challenge will be to ignore the spellllerring and grraamerrr errors in this comment
* My advice might not be the best to follow, Single white 25 year old male.